I had the most intense dream about MaxEarnest last night. It was one of those weird dreams, where you really feel like you are there. We were biking together and eating on his balcony. It made me very sad to wake up.
The weird thing is, though, that I think the Mirena is making me much more of a typical woman, in that I'm less interested in sex and more interested in just cuddling. Definitely kink is less of a need, but I find myself missing just lying next to someone more and more.
It is also changing how I view kink. I had become very anti-kink as a thing. Even if I embrace my right to have a great sex life, I really do want to change the culture so 12-year-olds aren't seeing images of women being objectified and humiliated. We live in an incredibly sexist culture, and I feel that more and more every day. I listen to NPR and there are 3 men for every woman. I was watching MSNBC last night (normally I just listen to Rachel Maddow as an audio-only podcast without commercials, but I was flying and it was on the plane) and on the Chris Matthews show they had 7 men and one woman as guests. Chris Hayes was better, but still didn't have anywhere near parity.
It isn't surprising we have a culture that eroticses (spell check says that right, but it looks wrong to me--eroticizes or eroticses? weird) women's submission and men's domination. And how much better that the people being subjugated can play a part in their own subjugation.
But, if the Mirena makes me more vanilla, it changes how I view this a lot. Because if changing my hormones (and for those that don't know, the Mirena is an IUD that has hormones that make you chemically infertile) makes me vanilla, then the cause of my submission is probably not the culture--it is probably chemical. And if that's the case, then the sexist culture still pisses me off, but it didn't change the fabric of my erotic yearnings. If I'd be kinky if I never saw MTV and MTV helped give me a vocabulary for what my body wanted, then MTV isn't so bad. I still want to change the culture. I want to turn on NPR or MSNBC or open the New York Times and have half the voices be women's. But MTV is all about sex. And maybe, chemically, kink is our body's way of getting us laid.
(P.S. Lord Of Hael, I'm happy to talk. I'm at lady__chatterley (2 underscores) at extremely warm mail.)
