I met a couple with whom MaxEarnest is friends, and they are truly lovely. Happy, joyous people with twinkles in their eyes who, blessedly, spoke a bit of English. I don't speak German. I can say a few miscellaneous food things, hello, good-bye, please, thank you, excuse me and count to 12 (because MaxEarnest has been teaching me to count and spanking me, so I know my numbers). I feel like the rude-entitled-American stereotype. Generally, I've tried to learn a bit of a language before I visit a country--I speak more Turkish and Indonesian than German.
In addition to not speaking the language, and often not knowing where I am, MaxEarnest often has my passport, so I am completely dependent. When I spoke about being lost, the lovely man with the twinkle in his eyes said "Helpless women are twice as beautiful." So MaxEarnest took me home and made me truly helpless.
Remember in The Great Gatsby when Daisy says girls should be beautiful and stupid? I think that our sexist society makes it easier for women who are beautiful and stupid and that is deeply problematic (although, truth be told, I played dumb when I was dating for most of my twenties). But maybe there is room for helpless in my feminist view of the romance.
The more MaxEarnest trains me, the more submissive I become (and training, cuddling and sex are taking up the majority of our waking hours right now). Probably not surprising--after all I'm just saying submitting makes me submissive. It makes me much more traditionally feminine, a little slower, less ironic, quieter and more open. And it also, interestingly, lets me get rid of much of my favorite German word, angst.
There's another aspect too--when I'm helpless, and taken care of, I do feel cherished. I sometimes thinks models look so bitchy because it is 'proof' that they are beautiful--no one would want to hang out with them if they were average, so being really mean proves how attractive they are. Needing to be taken care of makes me feel prettier. But I do worry that I may lose my 'feminist' credential (if I have any left) for that confession.
I'm sure that if MaxEarnest and I traveled to, say Paris, I'd probably do just fine. I think I speak French as well as he does, and I probably am more comfortable in cities. I don't think I'm losing any competence, but I don't think that competent side of me has twinkling eyes. More peaceful than bright with a bit of mischief. I'm sure I'll get that back when I want it, but I'm certainly lounging in the helpless side of the spectrum right now.
In addition to not speaking the language, and often not knowing where I am, MaxEarnest often has my passport, so I am completely dependent. When I spoke about being lost, the lovely man with the twinkle in his eyes said "Helpless women are twice as beautiful." So MaxEarnest took me home and made me truly helpless.
Remember in The Great Gatsby when Daisy says girls should be beautiful and stupid? I think that our sexist society makes it easier for women who are beautiful and stupid and that is deeply problematic (although, truth be told, I played dumb when I was dating for most of my twenties). But maybe there is room for helpless in my feminist view of the romance.
The more MaxEarnest trains me, the more submissive I become (and training, cuddling and sex are taking up the majority of our waking hours right now). Probably not surprising--after all I'm just saying submitting makes me submissive. It makes me much more traditionally feminine, a little slower, less ironic, quieter and more open. And it also, interestingly, lets me get rid of much of my favorite German word, angst.
There's another aspect too--when I'm helpless, and taken care of, I do feel cherished. I sometimes thinks models look so bitchy because it is 'proof' that they are beautiful--no one would want to hang out with them if they were average, so being really mean proves how attractive they are. Needing to be taken care of makes me feel prettier. But I do worry that I may lose my 'feminist' credential (if I have any left) for that confession.
I'm sure that if MaxEarnest and I traveled to, say Paris, I'd probably do just fine. I think I speak French as well as he does, and I probably am more comfortable in cities. I don't think I'm losing any competence, but I don't think that competent side of me has twinkling eyes. More peaceful than bright with a bit of mischief. I'm sure I'll get that back when I want it, but I'm certainly lounging in the helpless side of the spectrum right now.
