4 Years Ago

It has been a crazy couple of weeks, and last night was, well, I'm relieved.

But, of course, election nights stick out.  And election night 2008.   The party I went to last night was rather lame and the party 4 years ago was spectacular.  4 years ago, it was one of the best nights of my entire life.  I was there with the ex.  We kissed, knowing we were going to break up, but still a sweetness and an exhilaration   (We had always bonded over politics.)  And I had started to talk to John again.  John was going to take me out for brunch--I think it was on Sunday, but I'm not sure.

But even though the night 4 years ago was so much more beautiful and memorable than last night, my life is so much lovelier!  Last night, a guy tried to pick me up at the party!  And in a very sweet way.  We talked politics, and then he walked about a mile out of his way because I'd park far away to have a free spot.  I have never had a man pick me up like that.  Engaging, respectful, but also earnest and eager and clear.  

I feel like MaxEarnest has changed me so much that I am no longer who I was.  Before, I was deeply damaged and now I am this lovely person and men meet me and see me as this lovely person.  Somehow, all those years of feeling like damaged goods are gone.  And now, I am... What am I?  I'm not sure.  I'm figuring it out.  But it is good.