Communication

I went out with a guy a couple of times--I doubt anything will happen as he just seems too busy to really date (which was true before we met).  He is long distance.  (Well, not really long distance-4 hours by car).  But the truth is, MaxEarnest was the last man I could have seen making sacrifices to my life to be with.  This guy claimed he could move to where I live, but somehow I think that's something guys just say.) 

But it was really interesting.  The first date, he kissed hard, and I liked him as a person, but didn't like how he kissed.  I've sort of assumed that if I don't like how someone kisses, there's no way we'll work.  However, on the second date, he asked bluntly if I liked how he kissed, I was honest, and he changed!  He held my hands back and said "kiss me the way you want to be kissed."  He then proceeded to demand that I show him.  He was very much in charge, and he asked me a lot of very direct questions that I couldn't wiggle out of, because I tend to be vague if I don't like something.  At one point, he was pulling my hair one way, then another.  I didn't realize it, but there's a spot on my scalp that is very tender and doesn't feel good to get pulled, although I love the back of my head pulled.  He brushed aside my "what pleases you" which seems to be a line I use a lot, and asked me directly.

He pushed me quite hard for two dates--we kept clothes on, but he did choke me,which is usually something I wait until I'm actually at the sex level.  I love breathe play, and I'm scared of it.  But he kept demanding answers to his questions.  If I said "you're on the edge," he backed off.  He really was both dominating and also pleasing me.  He was like a boy taking apart a machine to see how it worked, but also constantly, putting it together, to make sure it still worked.  It was really interesting because I've tended to think that when it came to kink, I needed someone who liked what I liked.  But he communicated it to a point that if he lived closer or had a less busy schedule, I really think we could be compatible on a kink level.