Alone

I'm going to Italy next week for a couple of weeks.  Last time I went to Europe, it was with Dotty.  And before that it was with MaxEarnest.

I'm going to try and get pregnant this summer, and I'm very clear that I want to have a child.  But I have pretty much stopped dating and I feel like I still have a Dotty-sized hole in my life.  I know MaxEarnest and I wanted conflicting things.  Intellectually I accept that.  He said you can't have everything all the time, but every time I see his country on the map, I miss him.