Submission Vs. Unconditional Love

I was struck by my statement in the last post that I want unconditional love because the whole D/s dynamic is the exact opposite. The in D/s dynamic I know, it gives me a way to earn love--to prove I'm lovable.

When I have been obedient, and he grabs my hair, then kisses me and whispers 'good girl,' oh, I melt.

I also notice that I do things for people. All the time. I don't have a problem with that. I enjoy tending to people's needs. I love taking care of people.

But with 'my ex'--me needs a name. Not the recent ex, the long ago ex, let's call him Antony. I suppose that makes me Cleopatra. I can live with that. With Antony, there was never a sense of him just delighting in my the way I am. With the guy I dated this year, I would wake up and he would be playing with my hair and stroking my face and I wanted to stay in his arms for ever.

I think if I ever try D/s again, it would have to be after that dynamic, the sense that he cherished me, even when I was sleeping, was already established.