Boring Blog: Update

Well, I seem to be blowing off a number of men.

+15 had no chemistry. His picture was probably 10 years old, and he has since gotten braces and the uncomfortablity that comes with braces. He tried to kiss me and it made my skin crawl.

+5 was an asshole. How's this for insulting (keep in mind he's 5 years older than me): "Well, if we hang out, people will think you're a cougar because I look so much younger than my age." WTF? Since when is a cougar a woman who dates men 'only' five years older than her? And, frankly, I look more younger than my age than he does. He had grey hair at his temples and wrinkles around his eyes, even when he doesn't smile.

Also, English isn't his first language, and he just wasn't fluent enough that I didn't have to work hard at understanding him.

Meanwhile, there have been several men I've been willing to chat with who all steered the conversation to sex right away. One was fine because he was upfront about it and no hard feelings when I said I didn't want that, but one really annoyed me because I felt like he was trying to play on insecurities. Maybe he wasn't, it just hit close enough to my insecurities that I felt that. I don't know.

There was a lovely man, who was 3 years younger than me, who was sending substantive e-mails, but slowly, but I thought nothing of it. Till he said he was seeing someone else and couldn't e-mail me anymore. I'm happy for him. But that made me sad. (We hadn't met yet.--It didn't feel like a rejection.)

A variety of 20-somethings who say "hey" and I ignore them.

And that's all she wrote.

Or not quite. My ex is single. He's been contacting me more, but I just found out he's single. I've thought about sleeping with him--figure it would be a quick way to get John out of my system. My sister pointed out, it would only make me want John more, for aside from the whole "emotional unavailability" thing, they are complete opposites. I think she's right. I know I don't want a relationship with the ex, but I would love to find something to take away this deep ache. Well, something that doesn't need a prescription.