Possibilities

It is very odd. OKCupid is the only dating site I'm on right now, and as I've become less gracious, more men have been interested. They keep track as to whether you 'reply frequently,' 'reply selectively' or 'reply very selectively.' I used to send polite notes to earnest men I wasn't interested in like "Thanks for you nice note, but I'm looking for someone closer" sent to a +20 who also lived 300 miles away, that sort of thing. Anyway, I've stopped doing that and only reply to the men I'd actually want to talk to, so I'm now at 'replies very selectively' so I now get a lot more e-mails. Very odd. I guess there is something to this "playing hard to get" game. Problem is for me, it is never a game. I've been open with the men I liked and dismissive of the men I haven't.

Anyway, I'm corresponding with the first person I've been genuinely interested in a long time. We haven't met, much less accepted a second date, but I'm actually interested in someone not called John. Well, actually, this man happens to also be named "John" (not John, but he has the same name as "John," which is quite odd), but I'll call him Jason, just to keep it straight.

Anyway, "Jason's" profile has a couple of allusions to wiitwd (although nothing specifying whether he likes to lead or follow). At this point mine has none. My first inclination, of course, is to share with Jason that I did get his allusions, and while we're at it, why not mention everything else I ever shared with "John" or anything else.

And I stopped myself. We have several other things to talk about (and talking we're doing)--we're both kind of in the same field, although we've made slightly different choices, we share a hobby and several other things. So why not flirt?

I think my first view is "I want to know--if he wants to lead or follow--why waste each other's time?"

Closely under that, though, lies an insecurity that I'm too much work for a vanilla guy--only a kinky guy would want to put up with me because there are less kinky chicks around. Now, the funny thing is, I define "too much work" in this instance as being too intellectually focused, as well as my occasionally bouts of introspection. Why would he want to send me 2-page e-mails, well written and spell-checked, if he doesn't know there's a kinky chick at the end? And yet, the 2-page e-mails arrive. And they're spell-checked. ;)

I'm going to try this slowly. I want to flirt instead of blurt. We'll see how that works out.