Boring Blog: Finding Patterns

I want to really explore this issue about whether I "pick men who are emotionally unavailable" so I'm going to start keeping track of the men who express interest and how I react.

I'm afraid, however, that this is going to mean a series of boring blog entries. I've never liked the sorts of blogs that say "then I did this, and then I did this." I'm going to label these with a "Boring Blog" note so y'all can skip them, but I feel like I need someplace to be accountable. (After I'm done figuring this issue out, I'll start posting everything when I eat, when I eat it. Then maybe a list of my household chores. ;)

Now any man that contacts me with anything sexually explicit doesn't count. A "You'd look better with your lips around my dick" is a pretty obvious reject and I don't need to psychoanalyze why I'm not interested.

I also have a really strong bias against men who are more than 5 years younger than me (or so). I tend to cut off men who are more than 10 years older as well, but more of those get through the cracks by dint of good conversation.

So this week I have dates with 2 men, one of whom is 5 years older than me and the other is 15 years older.

The +5 I didn't really like because he kept talking about how much younger he looked than his age and how people would think I was a cougar if we went out, because he just looked so young. I kind of blew him off 2 weeks ago with a "I have a really big project at work--I'm just too busy," but he then remembered the project, e-mailed me before it was done to wish me luck, then e-mailed me again after it was done to ask how it had gone. This seemed really thoughtful and sweet, so I am going out with him--we'll see.

The +15 I think has really possibilities. He is smart, engaged and seems thoughtful. We have similar interests. On the negative, he has three kids already (all grown!) and is in the process of a messy divorce. We'll see if he says he absolutely doesn't want more kids. If he says that, I'll probably stop anything--but I'm not going to bring it up. (It seems to me men bring those things up quite quickly.)

There are other men I've blown off without the courtesy of a date, but I think there were real reasons: Colorado keeps sending sweet notes, a guy we'll call Flint and a guy I just don't trust--he claims to work as a full-time astrologist, but only has 4 clients a week, and there were several other things that seemed wrong. I got the sense he was on the make. I also wasn't attracted to him physically (shallow!). I might have tried to overlook that if the other things weren't sending warning flags. Flint lives in the West-Coast equivalent of Flint Michigan: one of those towns that is synonymous with decay and poverty. It is about 3 hours from me and is one of those towns that has been profiled on 60-Minutes type shows as 'all-that-is-wrong-with-towns-dependent-on-manufacturing.' Anyway, we spoke several years ago off e-harmony, but I didn't want to move to Flint and he wouldn't consider moving either to my town (which is not synonymous with decaying poverty) or someplace in between. He started e-mailing me again, but was very clear that a) I had to come out to his town for coffee and b) I would give up my career to move to him. Total turn-off.

I keep thinking of trying and go out at least once a week to meet people, but I don't really now how it is done in ways that I don't find uncomfortable. But I'm wearing make-up and sexier outfits, so maybe I'll meet someone someway or other. Who knows?