A very odd man, lets call him Rick, although I doubt I'll mention him again, contact me. My CM profile doesn't really list any kinky interests, but it does mention liberal politics, and I claim expert status there. He said "You're interested in liberal politics? Me too! We should talk!"
His profile, however, made it very clear that I do not meet his requirements in weight or cupsize, so I said "thanks for the nice note, but I'm not your type." But we started talking and he and I have friends in common. We've been to some of the same events at the same time. I probably worked with him on at least one occasion. He is a professional union organizer and I am a rabble rouser in my free time.
So we have been talking on and off. Several years ago, I tried to get a law changed, and he is helping me take it up again, actually assigning the union to work on the issue. He has offered to look at a couple of things I'm writing. So I'm like, this is all good.
And then he'll say something really flirty with me.
But under it all, all I can hear is 'you're not hot enough for me.' I thought we were just going to talk politics and activism. But each time he tries to pull me into the kinky thing I get a little emotionally entangled. And he'll call me cute, and I wonder if he's being condescending or serious. I know I should assume it is serious, but I'm so confused by the whole thing, because I just keep hearing "you're not hot enough for me," which he never said--I just inferred it.
I know chemistry is what it is, and one can't will oneself into changing it. But I wish the solid leftie, the union organizer and environmental activist didn't specify a cup-size on his on-line profile.
So many of the men I know with J.D.s or Ph.D.s are married to women 10 years younger than them that majored in an MRS degree and then worked at Victoria's Secret or hosted at a restaurant, but they're really, really hot. I didn't think lefty men were supposed to work that way. But they do.
I get that looks is really important for men. While I'm actually beautiful, I'm not conventionally attractive. I suppose I'm an acquired taste. I truly believe that, for the right man, he would be so lucky to have me. But the average man doesn't want me. And I'm tried of average men telling me that!
The fact is, we're animals. I hide it pretty well, but we're animals. There is a weird, jumpy bug in my room, like the size of a cockroach, but jumping everywhere Intellectually, I assume it isn't poisonous because I think I would have read about that in the guidebooks, but I scream like a little girl when it jumps across the floor! "Oh my god!" And a neighbor comes running, thinking that the roof has caved in.
Sexual attraction isn't politically correct. A cousin has an Asian thing. And I have to say, it worked out really well for him. I was wary for a while because he'd only date incredibly hot, Asian women, then be frustrated when they were shallow, without acknowledging that his criteria was just as shallow as any of the women he got bored with. But he found an incredibly hot, really beautiful, soulful, wise, smart woman that I love having as part of our family. But she's incredibly hot (like modeling in fashion magazines hot, but quit doing it by the time she was 21 because it bored her).
I get that looks is really important for men. While I'm actually beautiful, I'm not conventionally attractive. I suppose I'm an acquired taste. I truly believe that, for the right man, he would be so lucky to have me. But the average man doesn't want me. And I'm tried of average men telling me that!
The fact is, we're animals. I hide it pretty well, but we're animals. There is a weird, jumpy bug in my room, like the size of a cockroach, but jumping everywhere Intellectually, I assume it isn't poisonous because I think I would have read about that in the guidebooks, but I scream like a little girl when it jumps across the floor! "Oh my god!" And a neighbor comes running, thinking that the roof has caved in.
Sexual attraction isn't politically correct. A cousin has an Asian thing. And I have to say, it worked out really well for him. I was wary for a while because he'd only date incredibly hot, Asian women, then be frustrated when they were shallow, without acknowledging that his criteria was just as shallow as any of the women he got bored with. But he found an incredibly hot, really beautiful, soulful, wise, smart woman that I love having as part of our family. But she's incredibly hot (like modeling in fashion magazines hot, but quit doing it by the time she was 21 because it bored her).
Intellectually, I know I should cut off all contact with Rick. And then part of me will say 'well, maybe he only put what he hopes for' on his profile; he is spending an awful lot of time flirting with me. And he is helping me get this law changed. But then I hear "but you're not hot enough for me." And I just want to cry.
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