Philip and I have now been going out for almost 2 months and we haven't slept together (and both of us are traveling over the next month, so we're not sleeping together this month either).

My head says this is just fine, but my heart wonders if this is OK.  Today Philip and I had a date very much like John and I use to.  We met in the same spot, wandered through the same stretch of park along the water, got a drink at a place John and I had been a dozen times and then got dinner. 

That said, there were some major differences.  

We did kiss quite a bit.  John and I never french kissed and Philip and I do.

John had said that something was missing, it wasn't yet soup. This made me more and more insecure, as we'd spend maybe 12 hours a week together, we'd talk about spending our lives together, and yet I felt like there was something so wrong with me (and I assumed it was my looks).  Philip has said "I'm so to open up."  And, of course, he's said, multiple times "I don't want to fuck this up."  When I'm with Philip, and not thinking about it, I have a confidence that I never had with John.

John said he didn't want to hurt me.  That was incredibly important to him.  As if that were possible.  He somehow thought if we didn't have sex until we were engaged, I would get hurt.  Philip has said "I'm going to fuck up."  He knows that humans hurt each other in relationships.  I've warned him that dad is a shrink and if I get my feelings hurt, I will want to talk about it.

Philip and I were talking about how much I like my house and I mentioned how amazing my neighbors are.  I started talking about people, especially directly across the street and also down the block, but that, overall, there are the kindest people and there is a real sense of community. Philip interrupts me to say "I think you are a huge part of that--you really take care of other people and..." I interrupted him to say that I'd never had this community before. (I wish I hadn't interrupted him--I'd love to have heard the rest of the comment.)  But it was one of many little things that really make me think he is beginning to really care deeply for me.

That said, I hope we have sex before Labor day!