Such a bizarre day.  I'm in Boston--I have work things next week, but I flew out early to see people.

My aunt still has a lot of anger towards her dad, and stars talking to me about dominance and submission.  She believes that love can only develop where there is no submission and dominance and that love is the willingness to relinquish dominance or can grow when submission isn't expected.  She talked about how a guy was being dominant with her and her body recognized that as love. I tried to enter the conversation, talking about ballroom dancing, but it really didn't work.

Then I had lunch with Nate.  I dated Nate in the mid-90s when we were both in our early 20s.  He was the first man that ever tied me up and has gone on to have sex, I would estimate, with hundreds of women.  We flirted.  We talked openly about sex.  He asked if he should flirt with me, and I said something like "flirting is fun, but I'm sort of involved with someone."  He asked if I was submissive or dominant and I looked at him, rather shocked, since he tied me up and not vice-versa.  He spoke about having to keep himself from grabbing my hair.  He made it clear that he would love to have a fling, since knows what he is doing know. (Interestingly, he is friends with the guy from college (even though he and I went to different colleges) who put the eyeliner on my eye, which probably remains the single most erotically charged moment of my fully clothed life--the two met at Burning Man!).  If Nate and I lived in the same town, or even the same coast (and if Philip weren't in the picture) it could be really fun to have a fling there.  It was nice to talk openly about sex in that way.  He had me order ice-creams for both of us and then said "good girl" and asked if good girl was good. And when I was leaving he did grab my hair.  But he didn't kiss me, although it came pretty close. I do have to admit that many of my cells were dancing when I was with Nate.  I totally got why we dated!

My aunt no longer dates.  She is absolutely opposed to anything that might be 'submission.'  I don't think she realizes, though, that avoiding 'submission' to anyone is actually dominating the conversation.  It isn't a give and take with her.  It is all her way, all the time!  Meanwhile, a couple of hours with Nate and it was hard to think long-term; I have no intention of spending a night with him because my little emotions get involved.  But he knew exactly how to lead, how to dominate.  (If he had known then what he knows now, I might never have left Boston.)