I seem to be smitten with a man who is much too young for me. He is funny, smart, surprisingly wise and very sexy. And he is 16 years younger than me. 16! Ack!!!!!!!
I find it shockingly easy to surrender to him. He is the first man since MaxEarnest that I find it easy to trust. I really get that he cherishes me and cares about making sure I'm safe, both physically and mentally. I told him, after our first 7-hour phone conversation, that I wouldn't judge him based on his age. And to a certain extent, I don't. I don't feel like I'm necessarily wiser than him (although there are times I notice how young he is). Right now, we could pass for the same age. At the same time, though, I can't imagine that when he is 46 and I am 62, he could possibly remain interested. Part of me says "what the heck!?! It would be an amazing 20 years." And part of me is very scared of all this. But I do really like him.
He loves making me switch between the submissive and not-submissive sides of my personality. I'll be all submissive and he'll ask me a really technical question about my work, and then he'll pull me back into being in my submissive side. He ADORES how proficient I am in my daily living--totally gets a kick out of it. It is really lovely to feel like my smart, sassy, exuberant, driven, passionate side is appreciated as well as my soft, tamed, yearning side. I don't think I've ever been around a man who SO appreciated both sides of me.
Part of me has this defense mechanism that says "it will never work." I can't really see why someone this cool and this young would be interested in me for the long run. But he really seems to be open to that possibility. Part of me is thinking that maybe, just maybe, it might actually work. It would be crazy. Not at all what I had hoped for, but in some ways better! But it is a scary leap to make.
I also can't help but notice that as long as I had the mirena in, I couldn't seem to get interested in a guy (expect Fredrick --is that the name I gave the guy here last year, whom I dated for months, but didn't have sex with? That can't happen again.) Somehow, I could date a man that wasn't interested in having sex for months, and dropped me when I gave him a deadline that for my birthday, 6 months after we started dating, we would spend the night together. We met on a kinky website for heaven's sake!
He loves making me switch between the submissive and not-submissive sides of my personality. I'll be all submissive and he'll ask me a really technical question about my work, and then he'll pull me back into being in my submissive side. He ADORES how proficient I am in my daily living--totally gets a kick out of it. It is really lovely to feel like my smart, sassy, exuberant, driven, passionate side is appreciated as well as my soft, tamed, yearning side. I don't think I've ever been around a man who SO appreciated both sides of me.
Part of me has this defense mechanism that says "it will never work." I can't really see why someone this cool and this young would be interested in me for the long run. But he really seems to be open to that possibility. Part of me is thinking that maybe, just maybe, it might actually work. It would be crazy. Not at all what I had hoped for, but in some ways better! But it is a scary leap to make.
I also can't help but notice that as long as I had the mirena in, I couldn't seem to get interested in a guy (expect Fredrick --is that the name I gave the guy here last year, whom I dated for months, but didn't have sex with? That can't happen again.) Somehow, I could date a man that wasn't interested in having sex for months, and dropped me when I gave him a deadline that for my birthday, 6 months after we started dating, we would spend the night together. We met on a kinky website for heaven's sake!
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