Being Tamed

Steven (ignore the last post--everything changed, again) said everything I’ve ever wanted to have said to me, most importantly that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, hadn’t wanted to find one, but he wanted to be with me and had to come at it from my end of things. He also thinks I’m “magnificent” and that I make him feel like he hasn’t felt for years. He actually said something like “how would we live together? There’s so much energy that we’d use it all up!” The fact that he is thinking those thoughts, and saying them outloud, is really lovely. I wasn’t sure for the first minute that we met, but then he put his arm around me and turned me towards the table to ask which seat I’d would prefer and it felt natural, like coming home.

After dinner we went for a walk in the park, and he kissed me. And kissed me. And kissed me. And for that moment, I was tamed.

I love my bouncy, bubbly energy. I love the spontaneity and joy and playfulness. But under that, and only occasionally, there is a completely different girl down there. She isn’t sophisticated or smart, or witty or clever or cynical. She doesn’t need any of those. She looks up into his eyes and knows she is safe and protected and she doesn’t need any of the skills she uses to try and survive in the world. All she needs is his arm around her, telling her she is safe.

Every time I get to that place, it surprises me, and it certainly surprised Steven—he said several times during dinner “You are the most unlikely submissive” and “are you sure you’re a submissive?” And then he knew absolutely. I know where I belong.

Steven really likes me, and I want to be careful I don’t lead him on because I need a little more time to get where he is at, but I believe I’m headed in that direction. I really enjoy his company and he can tame me and he would cherish me. I’ve never been cherished. So I really want to give this a chance. I'm excited!