Sex and the City

Warning: Spoiler Alert. Don't read if this if you are going to see the movie.


So, I saw Sex and the City, with 2 of my friends. I thought it would be fun--girls' night on the town. But I hated it. And, frankly, I didn't like seeing the side of my friends that just loved that coat and had to have those shoes. I don't think of them as being like that. And I know--I sound judgmental. I am judgmental.

There were two major issues that drove me insane. One was the vapid whoring for fashion. Who actually cares about fashion when they have people in their lives they love? It is so stupid. There was a time when part of me sort of cared, but now I look at this and I'm just baffled that people think this stuff is supposed to look good. Oooh--it's a 2-foot flower on her shoulder! Oh, a 3" diamond flower ring! Oh, a bird in her hair! The girls went to a fashion show, and the outfits were so dumb, I thought they were supposed to be parodies. Carrie goes out in the middle of a snow storm, at night, and wears 4 inch heels to do it. And (shock, horror), Samantha gains "15 pounds" (although, the plot says it was in 6 months, one month before the weight gain she had sushi all over her naked body and looked amazing, but why should a Hollywood movie be consistent), and her friends are horrified. Just horrified! Oh, no! At 50, she has ballooned up to what might be a size 8 or so. She had maybe an inch of fat on her stomach. Not like Kate Winslet in Titanic fat, or Renior, but still, fat enough for fat jokes. Charming.

But the other issue is a much bigger one. (And this is major spoilers--please don't read if you think you might see the movie.) Charlotte leads a perfect life, with absolutely no problems whatsoever. So, of course, she is happy. The other three girls have problems in their relationships! Oh, NO!!!!! Heaven forfend! Big (the guy Carrie dates) gets cold feet at their wedding and takes all of 5 minutes to realize it, turn around and apologize, but Carrie won't listen, can't accept it, can't talk about it. Samantha feels suffocated by being Jared's manager and not having her own life, so she breaks up with him. Never considers quitting the job as his manager and developing her own life. There are no compromises. Steve cheats on Miranda (after she hadn't had sex with him for 6 months) and she can't even talk to him. (That one I understand a little more, but still--don't have sex with a man for 6 months, what the hell do you expect? And he told her immediately after it happened and apologized. Not an on-going affair.) So during the course of the movie 2 of these get resolved, with great fanfare and angst.

I had watched the DVDs in a time in my life where I had essentially no friends that lived within 1000 miles of me. I was SO lonely for people I cared about, I mostly noticed the fact that they hang out together and they are they for each other. But these characters don't talk to each other honestly. Girls talking about sex is not the kind of honest talk I mean--I mean actually letting down your public persona--the girls, even with each other, rarely share any real human vulnerability. Samantha turns 50 in this movie. Does she have any fear about it? Is she scared? Ambivalent? You can't convince me a woman like that hits that milestone without a little angst. Miranda has a job that makes a ton of money (I assume). At least, she keeps telling me she has a job. How does that make her feel? Why is it important? When she and Steve separate, does the income differential play into things? Or even while they are still together and he's still a bartender, and she's exhausted--do they ever try to talk about these issues?

And I'm also left wondering what the hell is going on with our culture. I'm so out of it that I don't even understand why people would like the shoes that these girls covet. But the fact that there are shoes for sale that cost $500? One character gave another a bag that the other character absolutely adored. It was Luis Vitton. And I swear, if someone gave that to me, I would thank them very much and give it to a preschool, because with all those bright colors, it looked like it has been drawn on. And that is enough to feed a family in Africa for a year. God, that sounds so self-righteous. But I would at least save the 500 for a trip or pay down my mortgage, or something. Not a pair of shoes that will fall apart in one snow storm.

Even if you want Love, which is a central theme in the movie, There have to be compromises, I think. And yet, there are a couple of men out there right now who want to be with me, in a serious way. My ex and the young'un. They would do just about anything I asked to be with me, and I've said no; intellectually I believe in compromise, but when push comes to shove, sooner or later, I seem to compromise less than part of me believes I should. My ex has been so very kind to me in the last few months. So warm and fun to be with. But the idea of bringing sex back into it--part of me just numbs out with him and waits for it to be over. He doesn't bring me along. And the young'un. I can't explain why he hit me the wrong way so much, aside from the fact that he kisses the way my father and I kiss--quick pecks on the cheek without the 'inside of the lip.' But, more than that, he has no empathy. He rambles on about trivialities for hours. And he is demanding of my attention and approval.