I had SO much fun with this man tonight. We had a lot of similar interests in common, from different enough points of view that there wasn't any competition there, and it was exciting!
I realized that, at least part of the reason that I've been procrastinating so much is that I really miss having an intellectual community. In graduate school, I had a community of peers with whom I could share ideas, who would care about ideas. But I don't have that now. Writing becomes lonely when I've no one to share it with, other than random rejections from faceless strangers.
I don't know if he'll call me. Actually, I do know he won't call me because he doesn't have my phone number. But, I hope he e-mails me. I think he will--he gave me his business card and said I could google him all I like. I really felt alive with this man. And he is SO darn successful in his own field, I could just relax and not worry about being intimidating or dominating the conversation. If anything, I would hope I would bring enough to the relationship. But then I'm a decade younger--that should count for something, right? I probably talked a little too much, but there were enough things about him that I found exciting that I just felt like I came alive.
And it helped me realize how much I've missed that. The only problem is, I don't know where to find it.
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