A Traditional Housewife

I'm turning into a 1950s, Donna-Reed-style housewife.

I wake up early, make my dad breakfast, make his bed, do the dishes, make his lunch and send him off to the hospital. Then I go back to sleep. I shop, cook, clean. I plan his meals, with low-sugar and low-animal-fat treats, to try and make sure he's enjoying anything that is healthy. I even polished the friggin silver--all of it. (My dad helped, like a child would help--I put the materials out for him at a table, so he could sit, but then I washed everything and did the edges when he wasn't looking.) At night, after he goes to sleep, I clean up everything and sometimes make his breakfast if he isn't going out for the day.

Of course, we have no sex or physical contact (other than hugs, and I give him footrubs, backrubs and hand rubs), and sleep in separate rooms, but I suppose that isn't that different from a 1950s housewife either!

Of course I have my projects. I'm working from home mostly till he gets finished, but I'm only working part-time. It could be 1950s charity work--it isn't that different.

The funny thing is, I don't mind it. I like taking care of him. I like anticipating his needs and keeping him as comfortable as possible.

Everyone I know is shocked at how good care I'm taking of him--I can't really imagine who wouldn't do what I've done. Of course I'm lucky to be able to work less hours for a few months and not worry about my job, but who wouldn't do what I'm doing?

I wonder if I wouldn't have been happy as a housewife. I like taking care of people. This is, of course very different in a way because my dad is extraordinarily grateful to me. He sees this as my home, and he's a guest in my home. He goes out of his way to appreciate what I'm doing. And I'm his primary source of company, so there isn't a huge amount of loneliness. But I also feel like I would have been a good wife and mother. I spose it isn't too late, but ever since John disappeared, I've felt like I probably won't have kids, at least. Something is wrong with me. I seem to send out anti-men vibes. Or at least anti-a-woman-I'd-treat-with-respect,-lust,-and-kindness vibes.