Values

Philip is a member of the NRA.  (Not the National Recovery Administration. Not the Negotianion Recreational Abilities.  Not Nebraskan Recreating Afternoons.  The N.R.A.

We have a lot of other values in common.  He believes in helping people who are poor.  He believes in public educations.  He isn't racist (although I don't think he has close associations with people who aren't white).

How important is this?

Interesting conversation with an OKCupid guy (let's call him Rand Paul Ryan), whom I wasn't really interested in, but he kept pestering me.  His profile was totally blank, but I finally called him and he asked if someone had to agree with me on every political point.  I said no, but I wanted someone who cared about making the world a little better for people with the least and he said "wow--that sounds like a college student. I never think about making the world better, and I have no interest in doing that."  He did me the favor of saying "This isn't going to work. Bye."  If he hadn't said that, I might have felt obligated to see if there was a way to try--I can't imagine saying something like that to someone.  But I was relieved he did.

What kind of values are essential?  At what point as I being silly about this all.  I was frankly shocked that OKCupid guy would be so totally dismissive of the very idea of trying to make the world a little better.  That seems so foundational to me.  But do I need someone who believes that?  Or only someone who would support me in doing that.  Obviously Rand Paul Ryan is not someone I could be with. But what is essential?  Could I live with someone that had a gun?  Sure--we had one growing up.  (Of course, it was a Civil War musket from our family, but it was a gun.)  Could I marry someone that had a family membership to the NRA?  Could I have a gun and ammunition in a house if I had a child?  Philip said he didn't know if George Zimmerman was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, and that deeply bothered me.  I clung to the beyond a reasonable doubt and didn't push it any further.  He did say the Republicans are crazy and he has no choice but to vote Democrat.  But what if he said Zimmerman did the right thing?  Philip is an amazing kisser.  I can talk on the phone with him for 4 hours.  We think at similar speeds with similarly coterminous tangents.  We have complementary curiosities.   

According to St. Sondheim 7:1:10 (the 7th show (that he wrote music and lyrics for), the 1st act, the 10th song), the key to life is "letting go your illusions and don't confuse it with dreams."  But hell the hell do you figure out what is an illusion and what's a dream?  What's essential here and what's not?  Dotty thinks I should give up on Philip (and I am talking with other people, which he knows) because he has been distant for the last 6 weeks or so. For her, talking to the people you love when you're blue is essential. It is for me too, but Philip and I don't love each other. At least not yet.  I think we could.  I get the sense that if Philip and I do get to the point that he opens up, trust me, and loves me, he would be very, very loyal and he would talk to me when things were hard.  

It's all so confusing!  I really wish a burning bush would just tell me what to do!