Being Present

So the new guy hasn't called me, and it's been over 24 hours. lol. I am fairly confident that he will call. And if he doesn't, well, I had a magical night.

What I really want to do with this relationship is enjoy the present while I'm with him, rather than plan for the future. Of course, part of me is scared that when he saw me undressed, he was less interested. But I don' think so. He seemed far more enticed by the glint in my eyes when I undid his belt. And he said he was going to buy toys for us to use. And he would find a pro-domme to teach me how to be a domme.

And he would make me write while I was naked and uncomfortable. (I have a couple of articles I need to finish and haven't been.) And his dating profile said he wanted to have kids.

We didn't have sex, which is good. He didn't let me take off any more of his clothes than his belt. So if he doesn't call, I will be sad and confused. But I'll be OK.

But I think with John, and maybe a few other times, I've been more focused on building a future than enjoying the present. And this man--let's call him David--David seduced and claimed me in a delicious way. And I have a feeling that he would like more. At the present moment, I'm greedy and want more. Much more. Last night I was out with another guy and I just wanted to run over to David's apartment and jump in his bed. But I guess I care enough about the future to not be that enticed by the present moment.