Dualities and Identity

So I'm actually in NYC this week on business and I went to hear Molly Weatherfield read from Carrie's Story and it was bizarre.  Worlds collide!  I'm used to, at kinky things, being the hippie girl that doesn't fit in (although I don't think I dress like a hippie) and there, I was the kinky one!  It was a feminist/socialist bookstore and nearly everyone there looked like the people I grew up with.  Birkenstocks, not stilettos.

Molly's real name is Pam, and she's totally cool with that.  (Of course, it says so on her web page, so it isn't exactly a shock that she is open about it.)  And it is clearly fantasy for her, which was a bit of a shock for me.

And the bookstore was great--the sort of place where I could find information about the systemic destruction of the communities of my clients.  Next time I'm in NYC, I'm totally getting coffee and spending an afternoon browsing.  (It is a socialist collective run by volunteers!)

I felt so awkward.  More awkward than I have at any kink thing for ages.  Am I Connie or my other name?  I actually gave her my real name, and I realize, she's the first woman that has been at all aware of the dualities.

Joss Whedon gave a great graduation speech, where he said:

You have, which is a rare thing, the ability and the responsibility to listen to the dissent in yourself. To at least give it the floor. Because it is the key, not only to consciousness, but to real growth. To accept duality is to earn identity, and identity is something that you are constantly earning. It is not just “who you are,” it is a process that you must be active in.

So I guess my worlds colliding is really just earning identity.  But it is highly disconcerting!