Surrendering but not

So, the grown-up in me has come to an amazing realization:  if I want to keep seeing this man, I have to ask for what I need.

I'm really not very good at that.  And for some things, I don't know how.  "I want to feel cherished--you don't have to pay for everything, but make me feel cherished in other ways."  Not very specific.  And even saying something like that is really hard for me.  I sort of feel like I should appreciate what is offered.  I would never have a gift registry--how is this not like demanding what someone buys your for a present?  

One of my friends has two daughters--4 and 6, and she wants them to be good at asking for what they want when they are older.  She is teaching them to ask for what they like for meals, for books, for games.  The girls will say things like "that isn't the kind of book I like."  On one level, I couldn't imagine saying something like that.  It would never have been tolerated when I was a child: I'm giving you a gift (reading you a book) and you're going to criticize which one I pick?  If someone offers, you can give a request, but don't volunteer it.  Appreciate what is given.  Graciously.

But why the hell not?  Does any adult actually care which book they are reading until kids are old enough for Harry Potter or the Mixed up Files or Alice in Wonderland?  Why should I be reading Pippi Longstockings if they'd rather hear something else? I'm reading because I think they would enjoy it, so it makes sense!  And her girls are super-nice about not always getting what they like.  "I don't really like parsnips, but the noodles are good."  Totally different than what I learned.  But why not?

So, whether or not this guy and I work, I think it would be really good for me to try to express what I want.  It is kind of scary that I don't even know where to start.