Yesterday I put John's picture away from my bed and made my bed normally. (I've been sleeping in a sort of nest, with all these pillows on one side and my comforter on the other.)
So this morning, I was lying in bed, on my left side, with a small pillow between my arms. Lying on my side is a very lonely position in bed--I so ache to have someone come and spoon around me. I think spooning may be my most favorite thing in the world. Anyway, it sounds cheesy, but I felt a sense of John. It was quite simple, almost a whisper. But we had a conversation that boiled down to:
There is some sense of an afterlife.
He loved me.
He will keep an eye on me and help me find someone I will love.
I need to do my part by honouring my inner-Connie (make my two halves friends) and by believing in myself.
I musn't 'compromise.' I will meet someone I will truly love. No dating men that I think I ought to be happy with.
We will connect again at some point. Not in any recognizable form. But as spiritual entities.
He should go, and I asked if he had to, and he said not right now. Whenever I'm ready.
I asked him if this was entirely a figment of my imagination and he said not entirely. My sense, and I was sort of mostly asleep but not entirely, was that either he was in a form that I couldn't comprehend or that I was making this up, but it was based on who John really was.
It was a nice whisper of his love.
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