My mother's daughter

I told my mom about Maxearnest tonight.  I sort of had to.  I had a bit of a money scare and then my mom was sort of hinting that maybe this wasn't the time to go to Europe this summer--wouldn't that be more expensive than staying home, and so I told her.

She asked what he was like and I said kind and empathetic.  And she almost started to cry.  I could hear the tears in her voice.  She was so happy for me.  But I also realized what a great toll being with my dad all those years has taken.  I just wanted to take her in my arms and hold her.  

My mom threatened to divorce my dad this year, and he started to make some of the changes with her that he refuses to make with me.  But they seem very small in comparison to the damage I think he causes her.  

My parents will celebrate their 50th anniversary soon.  There are times I'm absolutely shocked at the generational differences.  My mom refused to consider buying a Push-Up bra for my dad, even though it was painfully clear that my dad would have loved to see her in one.  From what I can tell, they have a good, but boring sex life and I would guess they are having sex about once a week, which, I think, is more from a sense of obligation on my mother's part than lust.  My mom never worked full time, and my dad always resented that.

But I have to say, I wonder if my mom could have been much happier on her own than married.  I can't imagine  the constant callousness. In a weird twist, Maxearnest is from the country that my family sort of blames for my dad's rigidness and judgmental nature (he has ancestors from there as well), but Maxearnest has none of that.  The tone in her voice when I said Maxearnest was kind and empathetic made me so sad for her.