Tropes of Rope

I used to feel oppressed by the way that narratives of bdsm took over my private fantasies.  I felt victimized by a patriarchal culture that, by middle school, flooded so much media with fairly misogynistic fantasies of a male-centered dream world where women were objects there to please the man.  I wondered where my erotic fantasies would have ended up if not given such a steady diet of kink, and lets be honest, the MTV of the 80s had a huge amount of kink subtones (and sometimes some very dominant tones).

And, truth be told, I think that is a valid analysis on one level.

But I feel differently now--the memes of screams make really hot sex, and they also provide a foundation for the sense of connection and empathy.

If we think of Maxearnest and my erotic fantasies as illustrated by a Venn Diagram, the memes make a much greater overlap possible.  If I'd developed my own erotic life, free of any coercion by a patriarchal culture, maybe I'd get off on clouds and unicorns and rose petals.  The things I liked when I was 9 might have come into greater focus and become objects of my erotic desire.  And how in the world would I find someone to share that erotic life with me?  To understand how I felt about things?  To be able to empathize with what I'm feeling and thus both push and protect me?  By focusing my erotic imaginings on some things, and even limiting some choice, the schemes come into greater focus, the dreams have a shared foundation, and, if you'll pardon my saying it, it seems that we are on the same teams.