Ready to Flee

So Mark is really beginning to annoy me, and I have to figure out if that is because I'm looking for a subconscious excuse to not have something work, or if he really is being annoying.

Mark and I work in the same set of Not-for-Profit groups.  I have  J.D. and Mark has an MSW. I work full-time at one organization and Mark works for a couple of organizations as a contractor. I probably get paid more; I certainly have a more stable and prestigious job.

Mark is often talking about me doing some of his work for him.  I really can't tell if he is joking or not. At one point I said "I have a big project I have to finish" and he texted "Oh, who cares about that. :)"  So, yes he was joking at that point, but it is just this constant nag and I don't like it.   I had a nice big bonus this month and he joked (I think) about how I could buy him a nice present with that (instead I paid off some of my student loans).  Today he was like "Oy--I had a rough day.  Wish I had someone here to spank" and that dynamic just really wouldn't work for me.  It feels to me like he just keeps talking about how I will service him in ways that aren't sexual and I'm really finding it off-putting.

The other issue is that Mark wants to be a 'mentor' but, frankly, I think he is at least as much in need of a little push to have enough self-discipline so his life looks the way he wants it to.  He and I both have had an interest in writing, but he gave it up and plays poker to feel the time.  I really have a hard time respecting that decision.  (I have a chip on my shoulder about poker, I know that.  I try to think of it as playing video games, which I'm mildly more tolerant of, but the whole losing a thousand dollars in a night, or more, even if it isn't my money, really rubs me the wrong way.  It sounds like Mark isn't looking more than $500 a night, but it still rubs me the wrong way.)  I do feel like Mark is stuck.  Well, I have to go watch Gossip Girl (a secret that is ever better kept than kink--no one knows I watch that!)   So yeah, it is totally hypocritical of me to judge him for playing poker.  Except I watch as many hours of Gossip Girl in a year as he plays poker in a week.  And I'm setting and achieving some of my longish term goals, and Mark just seems stuck. Do I need to look up to a man I'm involved with?  Does it make a difference if he wants me to look up to him?

I should mention one more thing:  Mark pays for everything when we go out.  I'd be happy to pay for something, but don't really know how without planning something (which hasn't seemed appropriate) or inviting him over to my place, which I'm not ready to do.  (I will say that I just assume men will get the first few dates.  Usually I start to get theatre tickets and other treats like that after a few dates, but Mark and I have different enough interests that I don't really know what I could treat him to that he might enjoy.)

Part of me think that this is a silly excuse to stop seeing someone, but it is getting under my skin.  Maybe I just want to be single and I'm looking for an excuse.  Who knows?

So, gentle readers--anyone have a strong feeling one way or the other?  I have to say that soliciting advice off my blog seems a really bad sign to me.  But maybe I'm just avoiding intimacy, and I don't have enough distance to see that.