So I had a date with a guy named "Robert." (His name is a deviation on "Bobby's" name.)
And he didn't show up!!
An hour before we were supposed to meet he e-mailed me to confirm (in a kind of annoying, put-upon voice), that he hadn't heard from me in a week (it was actually 3 days and I had sent the last e-mail). I was already in the car, because he picked a place right by his house and far from mine, and I didn't check my e-mail in the car. Then 10 minutes before we were supposed to meet (when I was still in the car) he e-mailed me again saying he assumed I wasn't coming so he wouldn't come until he heard from me. I e-mailed him back, about 10 minutes after I got there, when I thought to check my e-mail, saying "I'm here" and 20 minutes later and 30 minutes later and finally, 45 minutes later I said "I'm leaving."
He sent a really self-righteous e-mailing, complaining that I hadn't texted or called him. (He hadn't asked me to, and I didn't feel like going on alt.com to find his phone number somewhere.)
It was interesting because I realize that if I had gotten involved with this man, he would be forever annoyed with me, and I would blame myself. I would totally assume that I should read his mind and apologize for not having read his mind and think there was something wrong with me.
I'm also thinking that I'm going to start refusing to meet men who won't travel half-way to see me. I don't want them to know exactly where I live (which is in a hip, near, suburb of a major metropolitan area). I don't mind travelling into town, but I think I'd like them to travel to the part of town that is easier for me, so I'm not both travelling into town and having to travel across town. Furthermore, I'm thinking that I want gentlemen to volunteer to do that, and if they don't, I'm thinking it doesn't make sense to date them. If someone can't be perceptive enough to my needs that he won't travel part the way to meet me, why should I bother?
It was really frustrating to waste three hours, but I suppose it is worth the insight.
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2 comments:
More cats can never be the answer-- more love for self combined with being gentle with yourself is...
Thanks SMM. It is nice to know you read this. I didn't see your comment till after I posted the next one, but I'm not going to edit it.
When I say more cats, I am being sarcastic. Or maybe ironic. Or metaphoric. Thinking of the ways I build walls to try and keep the tears at bay. It seems easier to just construct the walls that keep the world at bay than to face the sense of sadness that comes from life not always being what I'd like. For years, I pretended to not want. This is just about the only place I own up to what I really want. It is scary to admit it. But more cats would be a mask between me and the rest of the world.
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