Perfectionism

So I had a big set-back at work today.  The proposal I was working on for over a year got shot down very quickly, and it was an idea that was very dear to me.  I'll find another way to have the idea heard, I think.  But it was very sad making.

In a complete and totally mind-fuck, I went out with men this week who's real life names are Bob and Robert.  I won't see either of them again, so I can give their real names.  But Bob was critical of me.  He gave me a task, which was fine because it was a task I wanted to do for myself, but then was critical when I didn't do it the way he wanted (and he wasn't at all clear about what his expectations were).  I think he was mostly critical because I was critical of what I had done.  I think if I'd said "It is perfect" he'd have been way more pleased.  But his task was to finish something I'd been working on for 4 months.  I did everything he had said, but I still didn't think it was finished, and I really didn't like the dynamic he set up.

Which brings me to something interesting.  The thing that made me decide I didn't want to see Bob again is that he was as critical of me as I am!   And there's just no way I could do a D/s/ thing with someone who is that critical of me.  But it might be interesting to explore how I might start to be less critical of me.  Maybe just a little....