Getting out there

So I did a Century bike-ride today. And I ache all over.

There were different lengths to choose from --62 miles, 100 miles or 124 miles. I REALLY wanted to do a century. I do have this need to prove myself, to show that I'm capable. (I kind of wanted to do 124 miles, but I didn't think I could have, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have finished 124.) But I did do 100. I kind of wanted more of a sense of accomplishment. Intellectually I feel like "good for you" but emotionally, I don't know. I wanted something more--a gold medal maybe? A dispensation from God to strop trying to prove myself?

However, the very best part of the ride were the men. First of all, there were a lot more men then women and early on a very sweet man started talking to me, and then asked if we could ride together. He had only signed up to do 62 miles, but decided to keep my company on the entire ride. Then when we got to the finish (at a brewery), all these men were flirting with me! And, I might add, I was in bike shorts and a yoga top. Not necessarily the most flattering thing. The sweet guy asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him. (I should add, I think he is 25, maybe 28 max, so I can't imagine anything would come of it. But he is Catholic--maybe he has tortured kink underneath?) We really had fun. Good conversation, supportive to each other, but also jokes and some mutual sharing. And then at the finish, it was nice to just have men coming out of the woodwork, wanting to flirt. It was really nice. It made me feel attractive and wanted, even in bike shorts. Maybe what I really need to do is learn to hang out in bars. If men are approaching me in bike shorts... Besides, I might have the energy to flirt back in a bar. (I was SO tired by the time we got to the finish, I didn't have the energy to flirt back.) I think of myself as outside the norm, and it is true in terms of kink and intellect, but not in terms of looks. But I still think of myself that way.