Pain and Pleasure

My first orgasm was with a sweet man who wooed me for a month and never called.  It was unexpected, and it was gentle but firm.

My second orgasm, and every one after that was harsher.  A clutching, grasping, how do I make this happen?  And for every single orgasm, beginning with my second one, the idea of surrender and then pain was the catalyst that made it happen.

I wasn't initially drawn to the idea of pain, but the erotica that I found that had surrender in it always seemed to include pain, and so I became more and more drawn to the idea of pain.  Actually pain, on the other had, I don't care for.  (But if I'm turned on, things that would feel like pain in other contexts don't hurt.)

Maxearnest has me playing with myself every night, and thinking of him, and having an orgasm.

Last night, when I was so close to having an orgasm, I started to go for the thought of pain, I heard his voice saying "only pleasure for my good sweet Connie" and I came without a thought of pain.  With only pleasure.  And it was really lovely.  I feel a certain lightness with that.

That doesn't mean I don't want hot, dirty and rough ever again, but it was so nice to add that note to my repertoire.  It felt like a gift.  Only 13 more days to Iceland, and I can hardly wait!