A Mark, A Yen, A Buck, or a Pound

I don't like to ask for things.  In part because I make enough money, for the most part, to be fine.  I have had short-term money woes this year, but I'm fine long-term.

But I think my dad and I have to talk about money.

First of all, my dad has started an approach to presents that I call "Buy and Bill."  He tells me to buy myself something and send him an invoice.  I don't know if he notices that I don't ever invoice him for them.  Last year, he didn't even send me a birthday card.  I know he hates it if I buy him something.  He can get really angry at me for it.  (It is actually something I've written pages and pages about, but nothing coherent--just a list of 'you yelled at me when I bought you this., and you were angry that I bought you this....')

I REALLY wish my dad would notice that I never bill him for presents.  He promises me expensive things, but never follows through unless I send him an invoice, which just feels so wrong to me.

In addition to not really getting big presents (which my siblings don't have a problem billing him for), my parents are giving more money to my siblings.

A couple of years ago, my brother started a business and my parents gave him 10K.

Last year, my sister bought a house and got married, and I'm pretty sure my parents gave her 10K.

In the last few years, with me buying a house, freezing eggs, and remodeling my house, my parents have given me 4K.  And I should say, I'm grateful for their help!  But when I needed more help, my parents were very clearly about sending each sibling a matching check every time they sent me one.  (The only exception was when I was in college, but then they put money in a trust fund for the siblings.  Also, I went to a state school and both my siblings went to Ivy League colleges.  And I worked the entire time and my siblings didn't, in part because I really encouraged my parents to let my siblings go to Ivy Leagues--I really thought the school I went to wasn't great.)

When my sister got married (5K), my mom spoke with me and said that the trip (the one my dad cancelled that precipitated this mess) would be how things would be balanced out.

I really don't begrudge my sister or brother their gifts (although I do have to say that while I'm fine, they are more-fine; both are DINKs (for the time being, and I'm sure when grandchild arrives, there will be tons of resources thrown towards the grandchild, as there should be)), but when dad cancelled the trip, I do think money was a really big part of it.  And I think that means, we'll have to talk about it.

Oy