Trust me....

I was e-mailing with a guy who might have been OK.  I think I might have liked this man.  He liked Sondheim!  He is 13 years older than me and lives 2 hours from me, but he seemed worth getting to know.  He gave me his phone number.  I called him.  He e-mailed me that he wouldn't answer any number from a blocked number.

I think this is nonsense on his part, and I'd almost be willing to give him my google number, but if his attitude is "you have to trust me enough with your phone number before we've ever talked" then I'm sure other things will go wrong.

I know I have 'trust issues,' but the simple fact is, my trust has been betrayed a lot.  For me, wanting to get to know someone before I, say, give him my phone number, it just makes sense.  I try to give strangers the benefit of the doubt (or else I could never talk to a stranger), but I have some pretty clear boundaries that I've set up.   I won't tell people where I work and because there are only two lawyers in the Seattle region with my first name, I don't give out the correct spelling.  I won't get in a car with a man on a first date.  (I have, but only to get a ride home, and even then, I have them drop me off at a different house, act like I'm going in the back door until they leave, then walk a couple of blocks home.)

Sometimes I wish I didn't feel like I have to do all this, but I've been betrayed by men.  And it seems to me like men just don't police each other, so the women have to take care of ourselves.  The guy e-mailed me and said "the internet is a tough place--I've been stalked too" but I wonder if he'd been stalked to the point of going to the cops?  Of having nightmares and panic attacks?  Changing phone numbers?  I suppose Fatal Attraction can happen, but I don't think it is very likely.

And my job is to take care of myself, so I don't become hard and bitter.  But oh, is that a hard one!